A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share:
There was a couple, 85 years old, who had been married
for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because
they watched their pennies. They were both in very good health, largely due to
the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One
day they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to
Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He
took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a
fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen
hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when
he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going
to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your
reward in Heaven." The old man looked out the window and right there he
saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on
earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man. "This
is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every
day." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch,
with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to
exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man.
"This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy." The old man looked
around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and
low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's
the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as
you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This IS
Heaven!" The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All
you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and
your stupid bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"
Posted by Ronnie Apteker
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