Saturday 29 October 2011

The History of the Internet

A friend sent this to me - I had to share it:

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com took unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.

And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land, and indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates ' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are.

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as Geek's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Saturday 22 October 2011

Two material weeks

We finish this part of the Material journey in two weeks time. On the 4th of November the audio mix will be complete and the film making will be finished. Then starts the real work - the next part of the journey is what we have been gearing up for, for such a long time.

On the 14th of November we leave for London and then, on the 16th, at 6 pm, we have a key industry screening there. This is very exciting but also, rather scary. We have one shot at this - they need to see the magic that night!

We are aiming for a February release and we this will depend on the film festivals we have submitted to. Getting into a high-profile film festival is not easy, and we are not counting on it, but the film turned out so good, and you never know what could materialize (excuse the pun). So, we wait and see, and if we get into Berlin, for example, then we will adjust the release date by a few weeks. We are all holding thumbs, and toes, and everything else. Please hold thumbs too. We need all the support, and luck, that we can get.

Then, we are working on another story. I can't say too much, but it is an East meets West tale. Watch Fiddler on the Roof for some clues.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Monday 17 October 2011

Too good !

This was in the Washington Post :

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) Courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said... 'A pumpkin?... Shit... is it midnight already?'

The title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line Ever.'

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Wednesday 12 October 2011

If you understand this please let me know ...

So, I am of the same origins as Ginsberg and Goldberg, and I love a good joke, especially a good Jewish joke. And in these anxious times, there are more and more financial funnies. But, I found this one, and it got a lot of people laughing, but I am not sure I get it 100% ... if you can explain this one to me, please mail me on

Ginsberg never pays his bills and is seen bargaining with a supplier.

"Hey, Ginsberg," Goldberg asks him, "why are you knocking that man's prices down? You're never going to pay him anyway."

"Listen," answers Ginsberg, "he is a nice chap. I just want to keep down his losses!"

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Sunday 9 October 2011

A Jobs well done

This has been such an event filled week. The passing of Steve Jobs being on everyone's lips. He really captured the world's imagination.

I read these words from Mr. Jobs on the Internet this weekend - it certainly is a lot of food for thought :

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Material wants

I was asked an important question this past week - what do we want for "Material"? What are we looking for with the new movie?

This feature film project is a business venture, albeit a very risky one - a colourful journey into the hit and miss world of the arts. A lot of people quite rightfully will say that investing in a movie is like punting at a casino. I have been down this road many times, and I would agree. But, gambling aside, like all investments you make, it is about people. We invest in people. And in terms of the result, well, in this case, that has to do with people.

The thing that all of us would want the most from this film is credibility. If we manage to capture people's imaginations like the way Bend it Like Beckham did, for example, then we will gain credibility, and with that we will be attract talent. Yes, if we establish credibility we will be able to attract world-class people in the arts domain. And this will allow us to grow and make more magic.

As for money, well, if the quality is there, the quantity will sort itself out. But cold cash, while always welcome on any venture, is not what our hearts ultimately desire. Also, there is no shortage of capital in the world but there is a shortage of human capital. Yes, credibility allows you to attract talent and without this there is no growth on a world scale.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker