Vottle.com

One week to go

2012-02-11T00:12:00.004+02:00

By this time next week the Material movie will be out there in full swing !!!

Until then, the pacing continues ...

This week gone by saw the Johannesburg premier come and go - what a blur. There were 650 people there, and the positive response continues to overwhelm us.

For the week ahead, leading up to the opening day, there are over a dozen sneak previews across the land. We are confident that the word of mouth on this film is going to be very strong, which is not the norm when it comes to local movies - this preview exercise is about mobilizing a first wave of supporters. Let's hope it bears fruit.

A week from Sunday, on the evening of the 19th, we will have the opening weekend figures - they will come with a drum roll - the numbers never lie.

Start your engines ...

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Cape Town here we come ...

2012-02-05T07:28:00.004+02:00

There has always been that old joke that goes "What is the best thing to come out of Cape Town?" Answer: the N1.

I was born and raised in Cape Town so I am allowed to make this kind of joke. But jokes aside, one of the best things to come out of Cape Town is Dr. Riaad Moosa. And tonight the Material movie will be having its premier there.

This is our next acid test. We passed the one in Durban last Wednesday night, and this evening we have another full audience coming experience the magic of Material. Bring it on!

I better get moving ... we have a lot to organize still today before the big night.

Before I go, if you have not seen this stunt that the good doctor pulled off recently, then check this out : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jnr_3NKt7Yg&feature=related

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Durban here we come ...

2012-01-31T05:42:00.003+02:00

On the 1st of February (yeah, tomorrow) we all go down to Durban for the premier of the film. This is just around the corner ... wow!

My personal view is that everyone is going to be in for a big surprise. And speaking of surprises, if you didn't see the Barry Ronge clip on TV then click here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=cavD3-ED8Ik

We had a sneak preview of the Material film on Thursday last week for EO and the response was once again overwhelming. Check out some of the feedback on: www.facebook.com/riaadmoosamovie

Just over 2 weeks to go and the movie will be released.

Durban, Material is coming!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The reel work

2012-01-24T18:22:00.010+02:00

No, it is not a typo. We are working on the reels. We got to get people to buy tickets. How do we inspire them to go and see this little local movie?! That is where the real work is being done. Yes yes, a bit cheesy, but please just go with it ... the material for Material is what this is all about.

We are very confident in the product. It has been tested with over 300 people and the response has been overwhelming. We know that whoever goes to see the film will be delighted - the thing is: why will they take a chance and buy a ticket?

All the ticket prices are the same. So why would someone want to spend 40 bucks on a local movie when they can go and see a big budget Hollywood blockbuster for the same price?

This is not an easy question to answer. The truth is, I have no idea. Perhaps it will be the relentless marketing campaign that motivates them, or perhaps Riaad's fans will mobilize, or perhaps we will just have some luck on our side. Or, all of the above. One thing is for sure, we know that the film is going to have strong word of mouth - we just need that initial wave of people to go support Material on the opening weekend. It is that initial wave that keeps us up at night. We need people to go on the opening weekend and that is the bottom line.

It is good thing we now have the Gautrain in JHB - at least there is somewhere I can go and busk if we don't do the numbers.

The past few weeks have been the most intense I have experienced in years. The reels are coming, to a cinema near you!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Cultural Differences Explained

2012-01-18T06:13:00.002+02:00

A friend sent me this - it is an oldie, but it made me laugh all over again - it had to be shared:

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of the South Pacific, the following people are stranded:

* Two Italian men and one Italian woman.

* Two French men and one French woman.

* Two German men and one German woman.

* Two Greek men and one Greek woman.

* Two British men and one British woman.

* Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.

* Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.

* Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman.

* Two Irish men and one Irish woman.

* Two American men and one American woman.

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage a' trios.

* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

* The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.

* The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.

* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

* The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply more employees for their stores.

* The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few pints of coconut whiskey. However, they are satisfied because the British are not having any fun.

* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping?

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Passion and purpose

2012-01-12T09:30:00.001+02:00

When you hire someone you can contract them to be punctual, but you can't make them be passionate. You can't buy love. You can't put passion into a contract - not a marriage contract, not an employment contract, not any kind of contract.

Purpose is a very specific thing. You either feel it or you don't. You can't pay people to love something. At IS there is a saying "Do what you love and love what you do." Of course, this doesn’t have to apply only to technology, but, if you love to do something then it is not because someone paid you.

I am always amazed when you meet someone who is enthusiastic and passionate. Why am I amazed... Because, in my view, these people are rare. They are not the norm.

Purpose is a privilege and also a curse. Doing what you love can often cause pain. If you do what you love and it does not love you back, well then it can be a real struggle.

At the moment Material (the movie) is not making my life easy, but we love it - the Moosa man is the real deal!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Festive spirit

2012-01-06T16:22:00.000+02:00

The year is about to begin - from Monday it is gonna be material madness.

Before the holidays become a distant memory, here is one classic festive joke that a friend sent me - enjoy:

A married couple had been out Christmas shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".

The somewhat irate spouse called her mate's cell phone and demanded: “Where the hell are you?”

Husband: “Darling you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the Diamond Necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time and said, 'Baby it'll be yours one day'.”

Wife, with a smile blushing: “Yes, I remember that my love.”

Husband: “Well, I'm in the pub next to that shop.”

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

A material year

2011-12-30T05:15:00.001+02:00

Next year the Material movie is coming out - the 17th of February is not far away now. A lot of pacing is on the horizon ...

The film is magical - if you see it you are gonna love it. With a bit of luck we may just get the numbers.

We have a real shot with this film - it truly is wonderful. My wish for the new year is that it is a Material year.

As I sit here and ponder I think of a thought that Joey Rasdien shared with me once. Joey is a funny man, and one of the lead actors in the movie. I once asked Joey if he was happy and this is what he said "I am not where I want to be, but I thank God I am not where I used to be."

This new movie is material (excuse all the puns) and we are definitely not where we used to be.

Happy new year everyone - may we all produce some magical material in 2012.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Season Greetings

2011-12-23T04:25:00.002+02:00

A friend sent me this - it was too good not to share:

Season Greetings

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my colleagues and friends, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that South Africa is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Material madness

2011-12-16T16:57:00.002+02:00

The year is winding down ... almost. But the material for Material is gearing up for the big event. The 17th of February is what it is all about. And this is not far away ... phew!

We have 10 corporate supporters that are helping us spread the word. Thank you to all of you. By the third week of January the campaign will begin and the Moosa man will be all over the place - lots of material is coming! The brands that are helping us include: Discovery, First National Bank, Steers, Glaceau (Coca-Cola), Europcar, Independent Newspapers, Multichoice, 94.7 (Primedia), Exclusive Books and Internet Solutions. Thank you again, to all of you.

The movie continues to get an overwhelming response from everyone we show it to. And they all say the same thing "This movie is so magical that it will sell itself." Yeah, I know that old expression "it speaks for itself". But, I have not heard the movie say one frikken word!? Does the movie speak French or something?! In my view, this is a very quiet movie - like it has lost its voice. Come on movie, speak up - spread the word!

The movie may be stunning but we are out there doing all the work. Yes, we do believe that the word of mouth on the film will be very very strong, but the challenge in South Africa remains: how do you get the public to buy tickets to a local movie. The economy is really tough at the moment (and about to get even tougher in the new year), and when someone goes to the mall and is presented with a bunch of Hollywood blockbusters, and there is an unknown little local film, then that one is always the last on anyone's list.

People are watching their spend more and more and all the movie tickets cost the same price, so why would one buy a ticket for a small South African film. Consider also that there is such a mistrust when it comes to local arts, especially movies, then you can start to see what I mean when I say that the movie isn't going to sell itself. We are on the road, all the time, drumming up marketing support with anyone who will give us an ear - so, please also help us spread the word - we really need ALL the help we can get.

I promise you one thing, you are going to be blown away when you see this movie - it is not what you are expecting at all. And if you don't like it, I will give you your money back (I am still good for it).

Now, check out the official trailer - it just went live this week : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMGkebuEkkE

Bring on the material madness!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

USA economic stimulus package ... what the doctors had to say.

2011-12-10T08:41:00.001+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share:

Dr. Krishnamoorthy Srinivas, well known for injecting a joke or a bit of humour into every conversation you have with him or in his speeches, offers this little bit of medical humour:

Apparently the American Medical Association has weighed in on the new economic stimulus package ...

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, ‘Over my dead body’, while the Pediatricians said, ‘Oh, grow up!’

The Podiatrists thought it was a big step backward, and the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it all.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands off the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, ‘This puts a whole new face on the matter.’

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say ‘no’.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

THE AGONY OF DYSLEXIA

2011-12-06T07:22:00.000+02:00

A friend sent me this ... ja well no fine.

After Daylight Savings Time ended, I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend.

He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him, "You idiot!

You're supposed to turn your clock back!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Why ?!

2011-12-02T07:28:00.000+02:00

How come people with no track record are often so arrogant? Why is this?

Is it because they have proved nothing so they have to act like big deals?! People who have climbed a big mountain don’t need to show off about it. It is amazing that people with no track always know everything. And when they have track record, then they are not so quick to give all the answers.

It is like that old saying goes "When you are good you can tell people. But when you are great, they will tell you."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Where I have not been

2011-11-26T09:05:00.001+02:00

A friend sent me this - I had to share it:

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The London screening ...

2011-11-20T12:27:00.004+02:00

What a week!

We screened the Material film in London on Wednesday - it feels like it was so long ago ... talk about an intense week - wow!

The screening went good, even though we had all kinds of technical challenges. Yes, everything that could go wrong, did. It was terrifying! The sound system in the art deco cinema Soho hotel we were in did not behave itself, and the full glory of the film was not experienced, and still, people were laughing and crying. When they see the finished, mastered film in a movie theatre soon, they will be properly amazed with this magical little film. The film still excites me every time I see it.

The real work is just beginning. The release in SA in February is the key to everything. The rules of business are the same for all businesses - the film business is no different. You need critical mass at home before you can expand.

Also, we are hoping we will get into a high profile festival, like Berlin. They will let us know in the first week of January. If we get into Berlin we have a real launch platform - we need it. This is not an art movie, but a commercial film, and we need to platform it.

Lots to do, and we are on the right track. A lot of it now boils down to "hurry up and wait." And of course luck - with a bit of luck, we may just get to the pyramids.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Gotcha !

2011-11-15T11:44:00.002+02:00

A friend sent me this : a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

01. This is this cat.
02. This is is cat.
03. This is how cat.
04. This is to cat.
05. This is keep cat.
06. This is an cat.
07. This is alter cat.
08. This is kakker cat.
09. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you cannot resist passing it on ...

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Talent is not enough

2011-11-09T06:08:00.001+02:00

Being talented and being smart are different things. You can be smart and have no talent and you can be talented and not that smart. Of course, you can be plain unlucky and not have any talent and at the same time be a dumb ass.

Riaad Moosa, though, is smart and talented, a rare combination.

Yes, you can be smart and have no talent and you can be talented and not that smart - winners are both smart and talented.

A week from tonight in London we will find out if we are smart or talented or both. And hopefully, a bit lucky. Without good luck all bets are off, no matter how smart or talented you may be.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Tomorrow is material

2011-11-03T21:59:00.000+02:00

What started in 2004 ends tomorrow. Yup, by sunset comes Friday the film will be technically complete. But the Material journey is really just beginning. Getting the film out there is a whole other mountain and I can't wait to start climbing.

A lot happened in this last week. On Tuesday Steers shot a TV commercial with Riaad and Joey as the two main characters. The advert goes out in the new year - it is gonna be proper cool!

On the 16th at 6 pm Craig and I will be in London for the BIG screening - I can't really say a whole lot, but this is the biggest milestone I have had personally in my 12 year detour into the world of the commercial arts.

We got some Web banners that went live this week - there is vibey banner up on Wantitall.co.za and there is one Vottle.com - there will be a lot more coming in the new year.

Then, there is a the East/West story - something inspired in part by Fiddler on the Roof, and also, by Material. If Material works next year, the East/West story will be next - you have been warned!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The History of the Internet

2011-10-29T08:08:00.002+02:00

A friend sent this to me - I had to share it:

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com took unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.

And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land, and indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates ' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are.

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as Geek's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Two material weeks

2011-10-22T06:13:00.000+02:00

We finish this part of the Material journey in two weeks time. On the 4th of November the audio mix will be complete and the film making will be finished. Then starts the real work - the next part of the journey is what we have been gearing up for, for such a long time.

On the 14th of November we leave for London and then, on the 16th, at 6 pm, we have a key industry screening there. This is very exciting but also, rather scary. We have one shot at this - they need to see the magic that night!

We are aiming for a February release and we this will depend on the film festivals we have submitted to. Getting into a high-profile film festival is not easy, and we are not counting on it, but the film turned out so good, and you never know what could materialize (excuse the pun). So, we wait and see, and if we get into Berlin, for example, then we will adjust the release date by a few weeks. We are all holding thumbs, and toes, and everything else. Please hold thumbs too. We need all the support, and luck, that we can get.

Then, we are working on another story. I can't say too much, but it is an East meets West tale. Watch Fiddler on the Roof for some clues.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Too good !

2011-10-17T10:31:00.001+02:00

This was in the Washington Post :

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) Courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said... 'A pumpkin?... Shit... is it midnight already?'

The title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line Ever.'

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

If you understand this please let me know ...

2011-10-12T06:31:00.002+02:00

So, I am of the same origins as Ginsberg and Goldberg, and I love a good joke, especially a good Jewish joke. And in these anxious times, there are more and more financial funnies. But, I found this one, and it got a lot of people laughing, but I am not sure I get it 100% ... if you can explain this one to me, please mail me on ronnie@is.co.za

Ginsberg never pays his bills and is seen bargaining with a supplier.

"Hey, Ginsberg," Goldberg asks him, "why are you knocking that man's prices down? You're never going to pay him anyway."

"Listen," answers Ginsberg, "he is a nice chap. I just want to keep down his losses!"

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

A Jobs well done

2011-10-09T08:42:00.002+02:00

This has been such an event filled week. The passing of Steve Jobs being on everyone's lips. He really captured the world's imagination.

I read these words from Mr. Jobs on the Internet this weekend - it certainly is a lot of food for thought :

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Material wants

2011-10-05T08:54:00.011+02:00

I was asked an important question this past week - what do we want for "Material"? What are we looking for with the new movie?

This feature film project is a business venture, albeit a very risky one - a colourful journey into the hit and miss world of the arts. A lot of people quite rightfully will say that investing in a movie is like punting at a casino. I have been down this road many times, and I would agree. But, gambling aside, like all investments you make, it is about people. We invest in people. And in terms of the result, well, in this case, that has to do with people.

The thing that all of us would want the most from this film is credibility. If we manage to capture people's imaginations like the way Bend it Like Beckham did, for example, then we will gain credibility, and with that we will be attract talent. Yes, if we establish credibility we will be able to attract world-class people in the arts domain. And this will allow us to grow and make more magic.

As for money, well, if the quality is there, the quantity will sort itself out. But cold cash, while always welcome on any venture, is not what our hearts ultimately desire. Also, there is no shortage of capital in the world but there is a shortage of human capital. Yes, credibility allows you to attract talent and without this there is no growth on a world scale.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Sign of the times

2011-09-29T07:19:00.000+02:00

I read this on the Web - it was too good not to share:

Employee: "Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?"

Boss: "Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?"

Employee: "Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this firm for over ten years."

Boss: "Yes."

Employee: "I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first."

Boss: "A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time."

Employee: "I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade."

Boss: "Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?"

Employee: "Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!"

Boss: "Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?

Employee: "Oh, the electric company, gas company, water company and the mortgage company!"

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Show business

2011-09-24T09:32:00.004+02:00

The "Material" movie making is almost coming to an end - we have just over a month to go. But the film journey is just beginning.

In the past two months we have been testing the film with various business leaders, looking for support in helping to get the word out there. The response to the film has been overwhelming. In fact, we can't believe it ourselves how magical the film has turned out. I have seen the movie the most out of the Material team. I go with to each screening and I am always keen to hear feedback (good and bad).

Why do I go with and sit in on every screening, I have been asked? Because I am also selling me, not just the movie. You invest in people - not in things, like movies. I am asking them to invest in me; to take a chance on me, not just the movie. Of course, when they see the movie, they are inspired, and want to learn more about me and the team, and that is why I am there. You can't outsource sincerity.

I am asking them to help me, not the film. Of course, if they help me, they are helping the film, but it is important to understand the difference. That old saying "the product should speak for itself" is only true to a point - you need to be there, in every sense of the word. And yes, the product speaks volumes - we are seeing people's faces light up when they watch the film, which is wonderful, but does the film really speak for itself? Does the product write the proposal, and follow up? Does the product chase and nag and beg?

And that is why it is called show business. The movie is one thing, but the show around the movie is a whole other story.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Irony of life

2011-09-17T08:07:00.000+02:00

A friend sent me this - it was too good not to share:

Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Wisdom:
When I was married 25 years ago, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blond."

"Now we have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Sleeper's Wake

2011-09-12T07:51:00.004+02:00

I went to visit the film shoot of Sleeper's Wake this weekend. This is Barry Berk's first feature film production that Ken Kaplan is running. Barry sent me the script earlier this year and I was proper inspired. It is a real page turner. It is not the kind of story I would like to tell, but it is the kind of movie that will make for nail biting watching. Barry has adapted this compelling book and has turned it into a world-class screenplay. I am confident that a strong movie will be the result. I am not that into dark stories, but I do watch them occasionally, and I am excited to see what they are going to pull together. I have made a small investment in Barry and Ken and I am keen to try build a bridge here.

And, on other movie matters, the musical score on Material is almost complete. Craig and I went to spend Saturday morning with Lizzie, the film's composer, and we were both delighted by the end of the morning. The music has turned out as magical as the film. I still can't believe what has been produced here! In the coming weeks Lizzie will be working with a group of session musicians to record the music (it is currently only on Lizzie's system and was created on a synthesizer). Then, at the start of October the music gets laid down as we enter into the sound mix. Soon we will be complete ... phew!

Last night we showed the latest working cut of Material to a team from FNB and I think it is safe to say they were all at a loss for words. The bank did an incredible campaign for the Jock film and I hope they will help us too. The seeds have been planted... now let's see what blossoms.

Here's to another crazy week ahead ... bring it on!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The rules

2011-09-07T08:20:00.002+02:00

A friend sent this to me – it had to be shared.

IMPORTANT RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.
3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Magic !

2011-09-04T07:41:00.002+02:00

I love trying to make people laugh. But humour is language oriented. Magic, on the other hand, crosses borders.

Talk about capturing imaginations - this is a must see :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fumsXEuiLyk

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The little golf story

2011-08-31T06:37:00.003+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share:

A father put his 3-year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying:"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know, Daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy Moley, thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other-side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:"God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me this morning. My golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Grace under pressure

2011-08-25T13:37:00.003+02:00

Being under pressure, and being busy, are two different things. You can be busy and not be under pressure, and you can be under pressure and not that busy. And of course, you can have no pressure and not be busy (which sounds pretty boring).

The challenge with being under pressure is that it occupies so much of your time and energy. I battle to sleep when I am under pressure. It is hard to switch off from tough situations.

Being busy is a different story though. I often have days where I run around, and take care of so many details, and juggle so many balls, but there is no real pressure. Sure, there is the mission of getting everything done that day, but, if some stuff is pushed out to another day, it is not the end of the world.

Having to conclude an important deal point, or delivery a strategic objective, or close an important contract, well, that kind of pressure we often have to deal with, and it is never easy on the nerves. The key thing about being under pressure is to try and remain as graceful as possible. As the years go by, I feel I am getting better, but it is never easy to keep your cool when things are pressurized.

The Material movie is putting me under more and more pressure. I am not that busy on the film journey, but I am juggling a bunch of high-level balls, and the pressure is intense. So far, though, so good - I have remained as cool as can be, but my stomach is in knots. Good things always require a battle - we have to fight for what believe in. Please God it will all be worth it in the end.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Show me the money

2011-08-19T07:48:00.003+02:00

In our Funny Business book (http://www.amazon.com/Ronnie-Aptekers-Funny-Business-ebook/dp/B004FN16HE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313406221&sr=8-1), we wrote about money and advice. The story where this one wise man we know, who is a very successful venture capitalist, tells us, that he often gets calls from young, enthused wannabe entrepreneurs, who ask for money. "Do you give them money when they call you?" "Never!" "Well, what do you give them then?" "Advice." "And when do you give them money?" "When they call for advice."

With Material (www.materialmovie.com) getting more and more media attention, so my telephone and email inbox are getting more action. Calls from young, excited, film makers, who want someone to invest in their movie. "Please can I come see you about my film." "You want me to gamble?"

A movie is a business venture, so, these adventurous guys should be able to answer some fundamental business questions, like, how are we going to make a return on the investment? But, as it turns out, our movie guys know nothing about the workings of the film business. They just want to shoot.

One day I sit down with one of these excited film guys, and he still appears to know almost knowing about the movie business; so we start discussing distribution, and he tells me that it is going be a big DVD seller, even though the DVD market is slowing dying. So I ask him about the PPD etc. and he has no clue what I am on about. So I explain to him how the revenue splits work on a typical DVD distribution deal, and, then I ask him why he doesn't write any of it down; you know, make some notes. I look at him and go "Maybe you should be jotting this down". And he looks at me, and goes "Nah, I can remember".

Listening builds trust. You want to make money, you want to make movies, perhaps spend some time becoming better listeners.

Personality and character are two very different things. Sure, personality opens doors, but character keeps them open. Listening is a sign of character. People who listen generally make money, and perhaps, even movies.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

More laws of golf

2011-08-12T09:28:00.001+02:00

My one friend sent this to me. I am not a golfer, but most of my mates are, and this made me laugh. Here are "Murphy's Laws Of Golf".

There is no such thing as a friendly wager.

The stages of golf are Sudden Collapse, Radical Change, Complete Frustration, Slow Improvement, Brief Mastery, and Sudden Collapse.

The only sure way to get a par is to leave a four-foot birdie putt two inches short of the hole.

Don't play with anyone who would question a 7.

It's as easy to lower your handicap as it is to reduce your hat size.

If your driver is hot, your putter will be ice cold; if you can hit your irons, you will top your woods; if you are keeping your right elbow tucked in, your head will come up.

Progress in golf consists of two steps forward and ten miles backward.

One good shank deserves another.

It takes 17 holes to really get warmed up.

No golfer ever swung too slowly.

No golfer ever played too fast.

One birdie is a hot streak.

No matter how badly you are playing, it's always possible to play worse.

Whatever you think you're doing wrong is the one thing you're doing right.

Any change works for three holes.

The odds of hitting a duffed shot increase by the square of the number of people watching.

Never teach golf to your wife.

Never play your son for money.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.

The statute of limitation on forgotten strokes is two holes.

Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.

Confidence evaporates in the presence of fairway water.

It takes considerable pressure to make a penalty stroke adhere to a scorecard.

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The more your opponent quotes the rules, the greater the certainty that he cheats.

Always limp with the same leg for the whole round.

The rake is always in the other trap.

The wind is in your face on 16 of the 18 holes.

Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right.

The rough will be mowed tomorrow.

The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday.

It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing.

The nearest sprinkler head will be blank.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Out of bounds is always on the right, for right-handed golfers.

The practice green is either half as fast or twice as fast as all the other greens.

No one with funny head covers ever broke par (except for Tiger Woods).

The lowest numbered iron in your bag will always be impossible to hit.

Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.

If you seem to be hitting your shots straight on the driving range, it's probably because you're not aiming at anything.

The only thing you can learn from golf books is that you can't learn anything from golf books, but you have to read an awful lot of golf books to learn it.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Insider shading

2011-08-06T03:23:00.001+02:00

I am all for capitalism. I believe it is a good thing. It allows us to take risks, and to create. It gives us an opportunity to make a return on effort. And it allows every person in the free world to make a difference. Capitalism ultimately gives us all the chance to wake up early, work hard, take a risk, and hopefully make magic. Create something of value in the world, and people will conspire to reward you. But capitalism only works if we all follow some basic set of rules. A code of conduct that is predicated on right and wrong. The 10 commandments will do just fine to this end. When we start bending these rules, and perverting capitalism, then things start to get ugly. Inside Job (the award winning documentary film), as the name captures, describes a system whereby the American government we all trust, as the leader of the free world, played a role in corrupting the rules that keep everyone in check. And now, there is a big economic mess. If you think that we have been through a crises then you are wrong - it is still coming! I would not be surprised if the Great Depression was renamed the Great Depression I. Because part II is not far off.

I have never met anyone who works hard who has not made money. Hard work always gets results. And if you are lucky and you work hard then you could make a lot of money. But making money and taking money are very different things. Too many of these Wall Street fat cats took money, and didn't give any of it back when the wheels came off. As it was stated in Inside Job "Why should a financial engineer get paid up to 100 times more than a real engineer; a real engineer builds bridges, a financial engineer builds dreams, and when those dreams turn out to be nightmares, other people pay for it."

Money made by hard work and risk taking is always celebrated, but when money is made, by exploiting legal loopholes then this is a tragedy. There is nothing inspired by someone who makes their money be taking advantage of our ignorance and lack of knowledge. When a hedge fund manager makes a billion bucks, it ultimately means someone else has lost a billion bucks. Nothing was created here. No magic was the result of some hard work. It is simply about the manipulation of numbers, and about the exploitation of loopholes. If all these hedge fund managers disappeared tomorrow would any of us care? Sure, I understand the value of a financial consultant and of a money manager, but, when that money manager suddenly has hundreds of millions of dollars in their personal account and everyone they were meant to be looking after is crying, then what is to celebrate there?

The problem we have is that nothing has changed since the sub-prime crises. No one was punished, and the fat cat culture of taking and taking has not stopped. You can't keep taking without leaving something on the table for the next guy. Eventually there will be an explosion. And the kicker is, that these fat cats who have all accumulated so much money have taken no risk! They have perverted capitalism and destroyed trust - they just all helped themselves and their mates, and no one does a thing about it. But the masses are getting angry and the average American now has to work 3 jobs to keep up with monthly payments. The middle class of America, which used to be the backbone of the American dream, are now in debt. And America has an artificially propped up economy with all these bailouts. We are cheating nature ladies and gentleman, and it is going to come back to haunt us. Very very soon.

What so many of these companies did, is what we saw in the dot com meltdown. Revenues were booked now, and services were delivered later. Anyone can make a big profit in the short term with twisted accounting practices. And then, when you start to help yourself to massive bonuses based on these phantom profits, well, them it all goes to shit. Enron is the ultimate example. And these big, perverted banks, like Lehman Brothers and the rest, are all Enrons.

Regulations were there to protect us. Hell, they did back here in South Africa. But in America, the deregulated market failed as greed got the better of everyone. And what is worse, is that the academics of America, the people we really look up to, the teachers and professors, were all in on this "inside job". So many Ivy League professors were getting huge consulting fees, to provide credibility to what was a perverse system. On the America Dollar it says "In God we trust" but, we can we trust America anymore?

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Dear Sir

2011-07-30T09:10:00.001+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share:

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
Sincerely, Spiders

Dear Voldemort,
So they screwed up your nose too?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely, Google

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely, BP

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely, 1985

Dear Justin Bieber,
Ariel would really love her voice back.
Sincerely, King Triton

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely, Jack

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Taylor Swift,
If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
Sincerely, Shakespeare

Dear Soccer Fans,
B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!
Sincerely, Vuvuzelas

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely, God

Dear Rubik's Cube,
Done!
Sincerely, Colorblind

Dear Santa,
Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.
Sincerely, Tiger Woods

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,
I. Can't. Breathe.
Sincerely, Your Balls

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.
All you had to do was wake up.
Sincerely, Mulan

Dear Romeo,
My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...
Sincerely, Juliet

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely, Toast

Dear Edward,
I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.
Sincerely, a stake

Dear Prince Charming,
You've got some explaining to do!
Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Know what you do, do what you know

2011-07-25T07:22:00.002+02:00

Making stuff and selling stuff are two different things. Writing software and selling software are worlds apart. As is shooting a movie and trying to get it distributed.

We all know that expression "it's not what you know, but who you know". When it comes to getting your product out there, often an introduction to a high-level gatekeeper is more valuable than gold. But having the door opened for you is one thing; knowing then how to handle the situation once that lever is pulled is another thing all together. I mean, you can introduce a mate to the coolest chick, and he can still stuff it up - a bit of guidance can go a long way!

On the Material movie journey we are getting an overwhelming response from the test screenings that we have been doing. And what is occupying my time and energy in the late hours of the night has to do with getting the film distributed on the international front. This makes the film production look like a walk in the park.

We are fortunate to have some powerful friends there to help. Some serious doors are being opening for us. But, this is just the start. Once we are in the lion's den then we better be prepared. And this is where it pays to get someone on board who knows the terrain.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

BEER, FISHING, SEX & GOLF

2011-07-20T22:41:00.001+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share:

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The basics

2011-07-18T06:21:00.007+02:00

I am going to state the obvious: without the fundamentals we are nowhere.

Yes, this is indeed obvious, so how come then, we so often forget this, or, purposefully neglect it. Take movies as an example. A film with pretty pictures and a crap script/story should be a photo gallery instead. And a burnt pizza, with delicious toppings should rather be a salad. You get the idea. The fundamentals have to be in place, otherwise you are nowhere. On our movie example, who cares about pretty pictures if the film is boring.

Of course, in the movie case, pretty pictures add to compelling story telling, but stunning images and flat characters does not amount to a good movie. This is like having a great knife and fork and a shit meal.

So, how come again, here in South Africa, do people always go on about the photography in local movies. No one sees an American film and goes "Crap film, but I loved the photography". The reason we go on about the great photography in the film is because the rest of the film was crap. Imagine a comment like "Well shot kak movie" - ja, right.

We are now two months away from finishing the Material movie, and yes, it is beautifully shot. But, that won't make the movie work. I hope our fundamentals are spot on - I think we are on track, but we won't know until you tell us. Soon soon ...

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Bad news

2011-07-13T10:08:00.000+02:00

A friend sent this to me – it was too evil not to share:

This guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.

There are two sheriff's deputies there and he asks if there is a problem.

One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, can they see a picture of his wife.

The guy says "sure" and shows them a photo of his wife.

The sheriff says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

The guy says, "I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Missing some cells ... ?

2011-07-11T07:32:00.003+02:00

Have you ever dialed the wrong cell number by mistake. Of course you have - we all do this every now and then. And so, you realize it is a wrong number and you stop the call and punch in the correct number and try again. But then, just as you are trying to call the number you wanted to dial in the first place, you get a call from the wrong number you tried with some guy going "You just called me - what do you want?"

Are people really that bored and that crazy. This is like somone who calls me and doesn't leave a message and goes "Why didn't you call me back". Hey, leave a message like a normal person - I get many missed calls - I don't sit there and go through my list of missed calls.

Just now you will ask me to put a surveillance camera outside my house, and everyone who knocks on my door while I am out, I must then go and visit. WTF?!

All this technology is making us stupider and crazier.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Too sweet for words ...

2011-07-06T07:12:00.001+02:00

A friend send me this to watch - it is a special clip on YouTube of Robbie Firmin from Britain's Got Talent 2011 audition.

It is a must see - it will warm your heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMNTlPa4Xi8&feature=relmfu

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Valentine's next year will be Material

2011-07-01T10:13:00.001+02:00

The diamond is starting to shine through. We are chipping away and polishing like mad men. Yeah, it is definitely starting to sparkle.

We will be finished with the film by the middle of September. The picture will be "locked" from" the 18th of July, and then, in those 8 weeks that follow the sound and music will be worked on. If all goes according to plan/schedule, we will be ready to test the film, in a cinema, with a full audience, by the end of September.

We have nailed down a release date, and we are looking at mid February.

Start your engines!

PS - check this out : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LjazOxV3vM

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Inside Job

2011-06-25T12:07:00.002+02:00

I have watched this American documentary film "Inside Job" now 6 times, and each time I am at a loss for words. I know it is one person's perspective, I know it is the film maker's point of view, I know it is one man's story, but, it smacks of facts that cannot be ignored. And it touches on the out-of-control greed that is plaguing the world.

Just before the end of this compelling piece of work, there is an interview where the subject says "Why should a financial engineer get paid up to 100 times more than a real engineer; a real engineer builds bridges, a financial engineer builds dreams. and when those dreams turn out to be nightmares, other people pay for it".

So many countries in the world are suffering on the economic front, and greed sits at the centre of it all. These words "stimulus" and "bail out" are all about delaying the pain. By artificially propping up these failing systems we are trying to cheat nature, and it is going to come bite us in the ass like never before.

I am anxious about the next 6 months - the world is going to look very different in 2012.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

All the President's Men

2011-06-19T09:53:00.001+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was good not to share:

Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado and off they whirled to the land of Oz. They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great Wizard."

What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said, "I've come for some courage."

"No Problem!" said the Wizard. "Who's next?"

Richard Nixon stepped forward, "I think I need a heart."

"Done!" says the Wizard.

"Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"

Up stepped Bush and said, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."

"No problem!" said the Wizard. "Consider it done."

Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but he doesn't say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "Well, what do you want?"

"Is Dorothy here?"

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Perspective

2011-06-16T11:34:00.004+02:00

We saw the film on Monday, and my heart tells me that it is wonderful. But my head reminds me that we need perspective. This is a fundamental thing of all endeavours - we all need perspective. Perhaps we think the film is magical but others won't. Oy!

So, on Tuesday evening next week a group of people who don't know anything about the movie, and who don’t know us, are coming to see the film in a small, focus group. That will be an important milestone, and it will hopefully give us some peace of mind. How will we know if they like it? Well, if they laugh a lot that will be a good sign, and if they reach for a tissue at the end (we will have a Kleenex box on hand) then that will be the ultimate acknowledgment.

And so the anxiety continues ... but soon we will know. Soon soon.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The whole enchilada

2011-06-11T08:43:00.003+02:00

A movie has to be enjoyable from start to finish. You don't have to love every minute of it, but if at any point something doesn't ring true, then the illusion is over. It is the same for all products and services. The whole experience has to be smooth, or we won't be impressed.

If you order a steak at a restaurant, for example, and one piece of it is green with a nail in it, then the whole meal is ruined - even if the rest of the steak was good. A movie can't have a crap opening and a good ending or vice versa - it has to all be good. Just like love. You can't love your wife/husband 6 days a week and then on Sunday be a lunatic - you are either in or you are out.

On Monday afternoon we sit down to watch the next cut - please God it is the whole enchilada. I got a feeling magic is coming!

PS - we need all the support we can get - please go to the Material movie on Facebook and "Like" it.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The horizon is wonderful ...

2011-06-05T22:26:00.004+02:00

We just watched the 1st cut of Material, and, I am very very very happy to say that I could see magic on the horizon.

Craig, I am inspired!

Riaad, Vincent, Joey and the rest of the amazing cast ... wow wow wow!

Robbie, Allison, Megan, Allison, and everyone else ... thank you!

Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch, but, I am confident that something wonderful is unfolding here.

This is the best journey I have been on since the start of Internet Solutions. Yes, there is definitely magic coming. We have a diamond that we need to cut and polish. Diamond cutting is a very specific skill - one wrong move spells disaster. Let's hope we are good diamond cutters. We have just under 3 months of editing left and so much to do. I better get to sleep - we have a lot of work ahead ...

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Distribution

2011-06-01T09:33:00.004+02:00

An independent film (an indie film), is like an independent soft drink, ie, a drink not backed by Cola Cola. If you don't have distribution tied up you are nowhere. And that's life, in just about every industry. A studio film has distribution. Coca Cola has distribution. The big brands have the supply chain nailed down. That is why that Vitamin Water stuff is everywhere. Coca Cola made it happen. And that is why we sometimes have bad movies out there - their destinies are tied up long before the film is shot. And this means we all gotta take the good with the bad.

Indie films, like indie drinks, or anything indie for that matter, really has to battle to get these products out there. But one thing is always certain: if you create something with magic, it will find a way to market. Someone will give you a slot in their distribution machine, for a fee of course. Because magic gets eyeballs, and for a share of those eyeballs, the majors will always want in.

This coming weekend I get to see the 1st cut of Material. Please God there is magic in it. If there is, finding a distributor will be a good journey.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

US RECESSION

2011-05-27T11:26:00.000+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too scary, er, too funny, not to share :

The recession has hit everybody really hard ...

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having se# with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

And, finally ...

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Puzzling ...

2011-05-23T08:34:00.001+02:00

The thing about putting a puzzle together is that you have to wait to the end to see the final picture. If you have a vision for a house, for example, let's say your dream house, and you sit with an architect and a designer etc. and then you go and visit the construction site early, you are going to be in for a fright. Yup, you will start saying silly things like "Where is the glass for the windows, and where is the paint, and why are the floors such a mess". Puzzles take time to put together - if you look at them too early you start asking silly questions.

The same with making a film. If you start looking at the rough edit, at the bits and pieces of the puzzle, you will not feel excited, but rather, you will get stressed. You need to see all the pieces of the puzzle put together before you can start polishing the final picture.

A film, like a house, is a big mystery. It can look good on paper, but what is designed and what is built are two different things. In fact, what you script, shoot and edit are all different things. With each part of the journey comes another layer of interpretation, and hopefully, more inspiration and talent. The picture could be a lot more beautiful than you ever imagined, but it requires patience and faith.

Right now I am having to wait another 3 weeks before joining the team (director and editor) on the Material film and it is not easy. It is all very puzzling indeed. But, all is good and on track ... soon soon.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Q and A

2011-05-18T10:01:00.001+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share:

Q. How Do You Catch A Unique Rabbit?
A. Unique Up On It.

Q. How Do You Catch A Tame Rabbit?
A. Tame Way.

Q. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
A. They Take The Psycho Path.

Q. How Do You Get Holy Water?
A. You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

Q. What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
A. Dam!

Q. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A. A Stick.

Q. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
A. Quatro Sinko.

Q. What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow?
A. Spoiled Milk.

Q. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
A. Anyone Can Roast Beef.

Q. Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?
A. Right Where You Left Him.

Q. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
A. Because They Have Big Fingers.

Q. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
A. Because It Scares The Dog.

Q. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
A. Sanka.

Q. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?
A. The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

Q. What Do A Tornado And A Kentucky Divorce Have in Common?
A. Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.

Q. What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A. A pool table.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Abracadabra

2011-05-14T08:28:00.005+02:00

Making a film is a magical process. But, whether the film itself turns out magical, well, that is a whole other story.

We are busy with the edit of the Material film. All is on track, but it is too early to say whether we need to leave town or not. As Craig Freimond, our director and partner on the film, said to me last week "There is no reason to be alarmed, and also, no reason to celebrate." A very practical point of view. But he is spot on.

Material is not a comedy, in the same way that The Full Monty was not a comedy. Sure, The Full Monty made us laugh, but it was a dark story, dealing with complex characters, and touching on the most sensitive of subjects: baring of the human soul. It was not a movie about male strippers, but rather, about stripping away the layers that we all hide behind. Material is also a drama, hopefully, as moving as The Full Monty, with moments of comedy scattered throughout. And this is where our current challenge lies - the comedy.

We shot so much comedy footage that Craig and our editor, Megan Gill, are overwhelmed at the amount of content we have to get through. That is not a bad thing - better to have too much material, than too little. But, it does come a price : time.

And here is the thing. You can improvise comedy but not drama. If the drama is not written then the actors won't wing it. But actors, especially comedians, can ad-lib and add to a script when it comes to humour. Comedians can be funny on the fly, but there are no dramedians in the world - drama needs to be worked out - it can't be made up, not in a film, or in real life.

The challenge with making magic in the world is that so many tricks have already been done - you really got to get creative to come up with new magic. You have to dig deep to genuinely captures people's imaginations - not easy at all. It is easier just to make pizzas and feed people. Yes, to sustain life is a lot easier than it is to awaken the soul. Not to say one can't make a magical and inspired pizza, but that is a whole different discussion ...

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Punny stuff

2011-05-08T10:27:00.002+02:00

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...And pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Do what you love ...

2011-05-03T19:20:00.005+02:00

At IS the slogan "Do what you love. Love what you do." always strikes a chord whenever someone visits the building and sees those words just about everywhere you look. To do what you love is a real privilege. Often doing what you love is not easy, but if you can do what you believe in it is liberating. The opposite, not doing what you love, is a hard place to be, and sadly, so much of the world is in that zone.

If I look at the story behind "Material", the film inspired by Dr. Riaad Moosa, I am amazed how far we have come, and also, I am overwhelmed at how much more there is to do. Material, like the story of "Purpose" is about avoiding spiritual death. It is about doing what is in your heart, about what you believe in. Doing what you love replenishes the soul.

If Billy Elliot didn't dance he would die spiritually and become a zombie. If Rocky didn't box, if the Whale Rider didn't ride the whale, if the girl in Bend it Like Beckham didn't play soccer ... and if Cassim Kaif in Material can't make the world laugh, they would all become zombies. And us, as aspiring artists, if we don't make the Material film magical then we will be zombies too. But at least we are trying. Even though the risk is so big and the stakes are so high. Yes, if we fail it is like spiritual death, and that is a very scary reality. But we take this leap of faith to try ignite our spirits, and to avoid becoming zombies, because, we simply can't quit.

And you never know - we may produce the magic. And if we do, then perhaps someone watching the film will be inspired to follow their own heart, and in turn we will awaken other spirits. Zombies be warned : there is a potential spiritual awakening coming soon to a theatre near you.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

What a scent !

2011-04-27T07:34:00.003+02:00

I loved that classic movie "Scent of a woman". The dialog was so compelling, and filled with wisdom. That closing scene where Al Pacino's character makes that inspired speech - this is what it is all about.

Here is a précised extract - yes, some very wise words on leadership:

Here's Charlie facin' the fire, and there's George... hidin' in big daddy's pocket. And what are you doin'? You're gonna reward George... and destroy Charlie.

What a sham. What kind of a show are you guys puttin' on here today?

I mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me.

You think you're merely sendin' this splendid foot soldier... back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say you are... executin' his soul!

And why? Because he's not a Baird man.

Baird men. You hurt this boy, you're gonna be Baird bums, the lot of you.

As I came in here, I heard those words: "cradle of leadership."

Makers of men, creators of leaders. Be careful what kind of leaders you're producin' here.

I don't know if Charlie's silence here today... is right or wrong; I'm not a judge or jury.

But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out... to buy his future !

And that, my friends, is called integrity. That's called courage.

Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of.

Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was.

Without exception, I knew, but I never took it.

You know why?

It was too damn hard.

Now here's Charlie. He's come to the crossroads. He has chosen a path.

It's the right path.

It's a path made of principle... that leads to character.

Let him continue on his journey.

You hold this boy's future in your hands, Committee.

It's a valuable future, believe me.

Don't destroy it. Protect it. Embrace it.

It's gonna make you proud one day, I promise you.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

You can't quit !

2011-04-22T09:12:00.009+02:00

A leader has to keep their cool at all times - they can't just throw their hands in the air and go "That’s it - I am done."

I often wish I could just leave things and walk away, but in life, we should finish what we start (even if the ending is not fun and exciting) and as leaders, the buck stops here. The real challenges in life are all people related. The non-people stuff we can sleep off, but the human related issues are the ones that keep us up at night. They are the real fundamental challenges and they can delight or drain us. I try never to lose my cool, but I am not perfect, and once in a blue moon I do just say what is on my mind. For the rest of it, I try to not sweat the small stuff - I know that some people just don’t know any better, and also, I have learnt that one has to be bigger than the rest, if one wants to lead people. It is not easy, and leadership is often not a popularity contest. Ask any parent - they will tell you the same thing.

To make magic in the world, real magic, requires sacrifice and commitment, on a level that can lead one to an early grave. As the saying goes "no pain, no gain" ... yes, no pain, no magic. To conjure up brilliant colour, and to inspire others, requires strength and drive. It means you can't quit. Even if you want to.

One has to be bigger than the rest if you want to do big things in the world. I don't feel I have done anything big in the world, but I am on a path where magic lies on the road less traveled, and I have wanted to quit so many times, because it is so hard, so painful, often so lonely, but, I somehow keep finding the strength to continue. I often have to take a pause, but I have yet to quit.

Yes, I would love to be able to go "I am going travelling - sorry" but I can't. I lost that right a long time ago. Like a parent - it is just not an option. Parents can't quit, well, the good ones. I am almost 44 years old and my parents still work for me ... and that is how it is.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The tissue test

2011-04-16T10:22:00.003+02:00

The big edit is underway. I will see the first cut of the film towards the end of next month. And then, around the last part of June we will do the "Kleenex test" - we will show Material to a focus group and if they all grab a tissue at the end then we will know we are in business.

This week I watched a beautiful movie called Mao's Last Dancer. A small budget film with a lot of heart, and I was amazed at how many story beats have been echoed in Material. I think it is a good omen, and I believe we are on the right road to the pyramids.

Making a winning film is a monster challenge - the film needs to be great, not just good. So wish us great luck, not just good luck. Yes, we need all the luck in the world.

As for the Kleenex test - this is the ultimate measure. If the box is emtpy after the test screening then we will indeed have a winner, and if not, then I am going to need those tissues for myself.

The Material film is going to make you laugh, and we are confident that it will be highly entertaining and compelling, but it needs to deliver its emotional payload - ie, we need to make you laugh and cry. If you only laugh it is not good enough.

You see, either way, someone is going to cry - let's hope it is all of us!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

And that's a wrap !

2011-04-11T15:53:00.003+02:00

It is hard to believe that the Material shoot is now in the can, er, on the hard drive. The whole thing was one big blur!

Also, the "2nd unit" team (sounds fancy hey) went and shot a bunch of cityscapes and pedestrians and traffic, and other cool stuff.

This week gear is being returned and papers signed and filed. The big 3 month edit is now underway.

Please God we will be able to show that true alchemy exists.

Craig Freimond, who directed the action, was a professional like none other. He was graceful and confident and calm. It was certainly the best experience I have had so far with any artistic adventure. And Riaad Moosa is another gift from above - a bigger mench you will not find. Bra Vince is in CT on holiday and soon will be back in London - what a champion!

The omens are certainly all good. Soon we will know ... very very soon.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Tomorrow we wrap ...

2011-04-09T07:46:00.002+02:00

I can't believe how fast the Material movie shoot has gone by! It has been such an incredible journey, and tomorrow, the last day of production is going to be an emotional day.

We have a 3 month edit ahead of us, and then, God willing, the film will be put out there for all to enjoy. I am confident that something good is coming, but I am praying that it is more than good. In the arts world good is not good enough - it needs to be great!

If the energy and vibe amongst the cast and crew is anything to go by then we are on the right track. Craig, Riaad, Vincent, Robbie, Allison, and the rest of the team have demonstrated incredible patience and humility - it has been a blessed journey and a real privilege to have been a part of this adventure.

Riaad is an international sensation just waiting to happen and Vincent is a gentleman like none other. And as for Craig, our partner and film making leader, what an incredible talent and brilliant human being - he kept his cool and was graceful, even when the pressure was peaking. He knew exactly what he was doing and he was 10 steps ahead all the time.

The key measure of success is sustenance. I am confident that a real team is forming here, that will be ready for another adventure should Material hit the mark. Please God it does!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

One Material week left ...

2011-04-04T06:12:00.003+02:00

It is Monday morning and we have this, the 4th week, left on the Material movie shoot.

It has been the most intense journey, but there is a magical feeling about what is unfolding.

We wrapped Bra Vince on Thursday and on Saturday I said goodbye to him - what an extraordinary soul - we were blessed with Vincent's spirit, talent and friendship. May we make him proud with the end result!

The big stress last week was the Zoo Lake day on Friday - there must have been lots of people who heard our anxiety because the sun dance worked - we had great weather! We didn't finish the day, and we do have to go back to Zoo Lake - but, we got the big stuff done and it is looking good! We just need about an hour or two back at the lake - trying to fit that into the last week of the schedule is going to be a challenge, but we will find a way - we have to!

I better get going - we are starting a bit later today because we are shooting into the darkness - I love night scenes!

Please help spread the word - please like the page on Facebook : www.facebook.com/riaadmoosamovie

We need all the support we can get!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Material number

2011-03-31T18:39:00.006+02:00

Making a film and selling a film are two very different things. I maintain that making the film is the easier part. Selling a film is a long shot at best. A casino offers you better odds. But, someone is winning on the roulette wheel - yes, one out of 37 will win. And that's the film business.

You never know, maybe our Material number will come. There's only one way to find out - maybe we will hit it.

We are in our third week of the shoot, and tomorrow is our big "Zoo Lake" day on the schedule. We have been very anxious about this day because we are vulnerable in terms of the weather - yup, we are outdoors for the entire day with no contingency or back-up plan. We are in God's hands tomorrow, and, as my friend Tony Walt always reminds me "those are the best hands to be in". If we can get through this one then the power above is rooting for us. That is my take on things.

Perhaps we will all be material witnesses to a small miracle - we will know very soon ...

Making a movie is like giving birth I have been told; and you can't have a Caesar - there are no short cuts here. I read this the other day "If you only learn tricks of the trade, you don't learn the trade."

I better get to sleep early - tomorrow is a going to be intense!

Place your bets, place your bets!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Material magic

2011-03-26T07:51:00.002+02:00

I remember a speech from George Merck II, the son of the founder of the Merck pharmaceutical giant. He made this speech in 1950, which was 80 years after the company had started: "We try never to forget that medicine is for the patient, it is not for profit. We try never to forget that our work here is to help people. The more we have remembered that the more the profits have followed." Quality before quantity. That is message of purpose.

It was Walt Disney who captured the never ending nature of purpose, in his last years, when he said: "Disneyland will never be complete as long as there is imagination in the world." We can apply this to all of our endeavors. As long as we have imagination we will never stop coming up with ways to make a difference in the world.

In 2004 the theater director and writer, Craig Freimond, went to see Riaad Moosa perform live on stage and this is when the Material journey began. Now, 7 years on, the film is being shot on location in and around Fordsburg. Riaad Moosa plays the lead in the film, and he is accompanied by Vincent Ebrahim from The Kumars at No. 42, who arrived last month from London, to play Riaad's father. The film "Material" celebrates the goodness of South Africa's spirit and of the legacy of a unique and historical part of this land, Fordsburg.

Material is not a Bollywood film, but a contemporary Indian story along the lines of Bend it Like Beckham. It has been written by Craig, with help from Riaad and many others, and the production is being facilitated by Tom Pictures. Vincent Ebrahim's participation in the film is a big endorsement and a testimony to an inspired and compelling screenplay. The Kumars was a hit BBC show and Vincent brings a wealth of experience and credibility to the Material film.

The story is as follows: Riaad Moosa plays the lead, Cassim Kaif, a young Muslim man who works in his father’s fabric shop in Fordsburg, Johannesburg. In the family tradition Cassim, as the only son, is expected to take over the family business from his father. Cassim is a respectful son and has certainly not considered any alternatives; this is his life and his destiny. Until one night, through a series of coincidences, he lands up doing an open mike session at a local comedy club. He discovers a hidden talent for comedy; a passion is sparked within him like nothing previously in his life. He is encouraged to carry on with the comedy, a path that brings him into conflict, not only with his father but other family members and some elements of his community. This is essentially the story of a family grappling with universal issues like, identity, responsibility and duty.

Material will be a heart-warming film that ultimately emphasises the importance of family. It will be a movie for the whole family, will contain no profanity, and should be able to be enjoyed by people of all ages both in South Africa and the rest of the world. Although the story focuses on a Muslim family the film will deal with issues that exist in every family in every country in the world.

The cast features an exciting line up talent, including Riaad Moosa, Vincent Ebrahim, Denise Newman, Joey Rasdien, Krijay Govender, Roysten Stoffels, Nic Rabinowitz, Osmond Ali, Afzal Khan, Rabin Harduth and Quanita Adams.

Riaad Moosa is a doctor who put his medicine practice aside to realize his purpose, and potential, of making people laugh. He believes that laughter is indeed the best medicine.

The shoot is all on track. There have been lots of challenges, but none of them, I am glad to say, are material. Have a look at www.materialmovie.com and www.facebook.com/riaadmoosamovie

Tomorrow marks day 12 of the shoot and after tomorrow we are half way there!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Ageless wit and observations

2011-03-19T16:11:00.001+02:00

A friend of mine sent these too me - they are too good not to share:

"What this country needs are more unemployed politicians." - Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." - Mark Twain

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But then I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

"I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." - Winston Churchill

"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." - George Bernard Shaw

"A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money." - G Gordon Liddy

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner." - James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

"Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries." - Douglas Casey

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." - P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

"Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else." - Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it." - Ronald Reagan (1986)

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers

"If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!" - P.J. O'Rourke

"In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other." - Voltaire (1764)

"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!" - Pericles (430 B.C.)

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session." - Mark Twain

"Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it." - Unknown

"The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other." - Ronald Reagan

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin." - Mark Twain

"The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools." - Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

"There is no distinctly Native American criminal class... save Congress." - Mark Twain

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have." - Thomas Jefferson

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Re-direct 'em !

2011-03-14T04:15:00.001+02:00

I was in London recently for some work on the Material movie (which is now in production - day 1 of the shoot is about to begin and then we will be in full flight) and I noticed something about the Internet. The big brands are dropping their public web address and instead are using Facebook addresses. I noticed this on billboards, in the tubes, and just about everywhere I looked.

It occurred to me that there is a whole new generation of young people online who don't know this word "Internet", but they know Facebook. To them Facebook is the Internet, and the Internet is Facebook. And this is where the big brands have changed their strategy.

The brands have worked out that it is better to re-direct you within Facebook than to try to get you to go somewhere else. That is why they have dropped their web addresses, and instead, now are all plugging Facebook addresses. In Facebook they do punt their public web address, but first, they need to get you looking at them on the mother of all social networks. The masses are on Facebook and in Facebook, so rather just try point them your way in this captive space.

When it comes to the new movie we do have a public web site which I really dig : www.materialmovie.com - perhaps I am just old fashioned (never thought that term would apply to the online world). But, we are also with the program, so, here is our Facebook address : www.facebook.com/riaadmoosamovie - I am starting to like this too.

Wow, things continue to change at such a pace!

Tomorrow will be day 2 of the shoot - phew!

Bring it on!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Three blondes

2011-03-08T07:59:00.003+02:00

A friend of mine sent this to me – it was too good not to share:

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect ... You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," He said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady?

This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!

You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but ..."

He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or Unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.

"The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right!

His bio says he wears contacts!

How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only One eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Material March

2011-03-02T06:45:00.003+02:00

This month is a big month for a key group of local artists. The Material movie is being shot from the 14th of March, for 4 intense weeks, in and around Fordsburg. Vincent Ebrahim (from The Kumars) arrives from London today and Riaad Moosa is busy with Craig Freimond, the writer/director, putting some final touches on the script. Then starts a week of rigorous rehearsals. And then it will be "Lights. Camera. Action!".

We have been in pre-production (planning) since the start of February. The 7 year journey kicked off in 2011 in its official capacity, and very soon it all boils down to the script, the actors, the direction, and if our planning has been good, well, then, the last thing we need is a bit of luck. The pre-production stage is the toughest - you have so many choices - locations, actors, crew, art direction, script changes etc. You have a 1000 choices in pre-production. In the shoot, during production, you have 100 choices, and in the edit you have 10 choices. The more choices, the more stress. Yes, pre-production has been proper stressful!

We are all praying and hoping and of course, trying and trying and trying, to make this work. What we are ultimately hoping for is that of art imitating life. We are all taking a view, and betting on Riaad's magic, and if Craig can produce more magic (I am betting he can) in his direction, then the world will see Riaad's unique gift on the big screen. On paper the character has magic - now we have to take what is on paper and make it come to life. If art imitates life and life imitates art then Craig will take the magic on paper and transform it into something fantastic on the screen, and then this film making team will have made the most wonderful of magic. This is all a big gamble though – but a smart one that we have faith in!

The Riaad Moosa movie, Material, is all about purpose - it is about a man who knows his purpose - he follows what is in his heart. I once read "Your talent is God's gift to you. How you use it is your gift to God. Do what you do best. If you are a runner, run; if you are a bell, ring." Riaad is a doctor who understood that laughter is the best medicine, and Craig is a story teller who is trying to get this sense of purpose illustrated in a film. I am the entrepreneur who is trying to make this a success. The odds are against us, but we are feeling lucky. Please God this film works!

To follow the movie online go to www.materialmovie.com and also, check out the film's page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/riaadmoosamovie

This story captures the spirit of Fordsburg and its heritage and goodness. And of course, the story ultimately is about celebrating the talent of Dr. Riaad Moosa. If all goes according to plan, and if the film shoot goes well, then a very special piece of work will result. Something that will make you laugh and cry. That is ultimately what we are all working so hard towards.

By Ronnie Apteker

Blowing bubbles

2011-02-25T08:49:00.003+02:00

I read this online recently - this is an important article :

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2011/feb/20/is-this-the-start-of-the-second-dotcom-bubble

There are 10 tell-tale signs that a bubble is being blown:

1. The arrival of a "New Thing" that cannot be valued in the old way. Dumb-money companies start paying over the odds for New Thing acquisitions.

2. Smart people identify the start of a bubble; New Thing apostles make ever more glowing claims.

3. Startups with founders deemed to have "pedigree" (for example, former employees of New Thing companies) get funded at eye-watering valuations for next to no reason.

4. There is a flurry of new investment funds catering for startups.

5. Companies start getting funded "off the slide deck" (that is, purely on the basis of their PowerPoint presentations) without actually having a product.

6. MBAs leave banks to start up firms.

7. The "big flotation" happens.

8. Banks make a market in the New Thing, investing pension money.

9. Taxi drivers start giving you advice on what stock to buy.

10. A New Thing darling buys an old-world company for stupid money.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Track record

2011-02-18T19:44:00.002+02:00

Track record is everything. The world is attracted to winners.

I don't have any track record in the film business. Yes, I have experience, and many painful lessons learnt, but I have had no real victories, just a few minor successes, and lots of hidings. If I call people I know to talk to them about a film venture this is how the conversation generally goes :

"Hey it's Ronnie. Wanted to chat with about our new film project."

CLICK

"Hello, hello ... ?"

Ok, you get the idea.

Technology, on the other hand, has been good to me, and if I call people about a new computer venture they generally want to get together in a flash.

I know this actually applies to every aspect of life. When a guy is going out with a girl, suddenly so many other girls start making advances. But, when a guy is in the desert, he is in the desert. When you have a girlfriend, then suddenly, other girls are interested - you have been test driven and passed - you got the stamp of approval. Yes, when you make money in a venture, then suddenly everyone wants to back you. But when you are not in pole position, no one will touch you.

Yes, track record is one of the fundamentals.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Sex after death

2011-02-12T09:19:00.001+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share:

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:

"Marion... Marion..."

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again".

"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"

"No... I'm a rabbit in Arizona".

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Stunning !

2011-02-07T20:55:00.001+02:00

A friend of mine sent me this. It is just over 3 minutes long and it is the most stunning thing I have seen in ages.

If you are looking for some inspiration then watch this:

www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=2HiUMlOz4UQ&vq=large

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Facebook

2011-02-03T07:21:00.003+02:00

I joined Facebook a couple of weeks ago. Now, I am meant to be a "computer guy" and yet, I have been avoiding the mother of social networks for a long time. And, since I have been on Facebook it has blown my mind - the world has changed! This is a serious medium, and when it comes to marketing, the smart money is online. Facebook is a buzz of activity with everyone trying to punt their art, their brand, their products, their services, and of course, themselves. Of course, you all know this already ... I am catching up!

I knew I had to join Facebook. This is a fantastic way to try promote our new movie, "Material". Yes, we are now just under 6 weeks away from shooting the movie inspired by the good doctor, Riaad Moosa. And yeah, we now have a page up on Facebook - check it out: www.facebook.com/riaadmoosamovie

There is also a teaser web site that just went live - take a peek too : www.materialmovie.com

And, here is my address on Facebook : www.facebook.com/ronnie.apteker

The Facebook story is incredible. Think about it for a moment: Facebook sounds so close to "phonebook". And that is what has been created here - a global virtual directory service. The first real all-encompassing voluntary phonebook, where you can say "Hey, get a hold of me here." And like a real phonebook, they are selling advertising. The writing was on the wall, er, the phonebook, and now, the Facebook.

Now, if you really want to get your mind racing then read this : http://mashable.com/2011/01/26/facebook-buy-with-friends/

Wow, the world is changing, and fast!

By Ronnie Apteker

21st Century Pearls of Wisdom:

2011-02-02T07:53:00.000+02:00

A friend just sent this to me - it was too good not to share:

1. Money cannot buy happiness but... somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

How is Nora?

2011-01-28T13:27:00.002+02:00

A doctor friend of mine sent this to me - the subject was "medical fraternity & communication" - this is proper funny!

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything!!!"

TRUE STORY

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Laughter is the best medicine

2011-01-23T11:19:00.005+02:00

We just heard ... the good doctor won the award last night!

What great news this fine Sunday. Riaad, you are an inspiration and a role model to so many.

Have a look at www.comicschoice.co.za

I met Dr. Riaad Moosa about 10 years ago, and now, after 7 years of collaborating and conspiring, we are going ahead in March with the "Material" movie. This is all about purpose - Riaad is a man who knows why he was put on this Earth - he follows what is in his heart.

I read something very stirring in December: "Your talent is God's gift to you. How you use it is your gift to God." And then I read this: "Do what you do best. If you are a runner, run; if you are a bell, ring."

Riaad is a doctor who figured out that laughter is the best medicine, and he captures your imagination when he does his thing. He is graceful, humble and talented.

Riaad, a big journey awaits us all soon!

Congratulations on your victory last night!!!

PS - check out www.materialmovie.com

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Being there

2011-01-22T07:38:00.002+02:00

Woody Allen once said that "Eighty percent of success is showing up."

You know, the most simple truth about success is this: just keep your promises.

When you watch a film like The Social Network, and you think about all these communications technologies and how the world is changing, you wonder what chance does anyone have of showing up, or keeping their promises, when cellphones ring all the time, and emails bombard us constantly, and instant messages interrupt us, etc. How does anyone stay focused in this modern era. You have to be strong, and you have to show technology who is in charge!

Yes, you may be an online wizard, and you may have your own stunning web site, and you have a zillion Facebook friends, but one question will always be fundamental: Have you done your 10,000 hours?

I often get calls on my cellphone from people trying to sell me stuff. We all do. One week it is insurance, the next week it is some high-tech online service, and then it is the cellphone company, trying to get me to try out some new package they are promoting, and so on. We got to get these callers off the line, and fast! When you are youngster though, wasting time is pretty much the norm. An 18 year old getting calls about insurance and banking services makes for lengthy distractions. Ask a high school graduate why they spoke on the phone to that stranger for so long and they will tell you they didn't want to be rude. Or they will tell you that they were curious. You got to love the curious, and the clueless.

Yes, to succeed in life you have to be there. Wherever that is. But, one thing is for sure, you won't be able to keep your promises, and you certainly won't be able to show up, if you don't get on top of all these high-tech distractions. The Internet, mobile technology, the Web ... these are all fantastic, but don't let them be a handbrake.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Why, how and where

2011-01-15T08:55:00.001+02:00

I watched this video on the Web and I was blown away - you must see this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZoJKF_VuA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Here is an extract:

Here's how Apple actually communicates. "Everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use and user friendly. We just happen to make great computers. Want to buy one?" Totally different right? You're ready to buy a computer from me. All I did was reverse the order of information. What it proves to us is that people don't buy what you do; people buy why you do it. People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it.

This explains why every single person in this room is perfectly comfortable buying a computer from Apple. But we're also perfectly comfortable buying an MP3 player from Apple, or a phone from Apple, or a DVR from Apple. But, as I said before, Apple's just a computer company. There's nothing that distinguishes them structurally from any of their competitors. Their competitors are all equally qualified to make all of these products. In fact, they tried. A few years ago, Gateway came out with flat screen TVs. They're eminently qualified to make flat screen TVs. They've been making flat screen monitors for years. Nobody bought one. Dell came out with MP3 players and PDAs. And they make great quality products. And they can make perfectly well-designed products. And nobody bought one. In fact, talking about it now, we can't even imagine buying an MP3 player from Dell. Why would you buy an MP3 player from a computer company? But we do it every day. People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it. The goal is not to do business with everybody who needs what you have. The goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe.

This is all about purpose - something very close to my heart.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The Social Network

2011-01-09T09:57:00.006+02:00

I saw the movie The Social Network recently and I was blown away. A movie where nothing really happens, and it was stunning! In my view, it broke all the rules of storytelling - for example, the hero you feel sorry for, but you don't really relate to him, and he is not likable, and yet, when the film ended, I could have watched another 2 hours of it - I wanted more! Also, there was something very personal for me here - this film reminded me of "Purpose". I knew we were on the right track 10 years ago, we just didn't nail it, but The Social Network hit it out the ballpark!

Over a decade ago we had American Beauty, an award winning movie, which highlighted dysfunction in American families. It touched on the idea of excess and it showed how greed is the new value system. I feel that The Social Network, which I believe will win many awards too, demonstrates dysfunction in America's youth, and once again, it goes to show how greed is the norm.

I asked a friend of mine about this film and he said to me "Don’t you think what Mark Zuckerberg is amazing?" and I responded with "I think what happened is amazing." Mark Zuckerberg, in my limited perspective, sounds like an intense and driven youngster who is a brilliant computer programmer. For the rest of it, he is very very lucky! He was trying to do, what all American youth are aspiring towards, and that is, to do something cool. As for integrity and leadership and character, well, those are old values - it is all about doing something cool online. And, if litigation and backstabbing come into play, well, that is just how the new world works.

Yes, Mark Zuckerberg wrote some software. Lots of people write software, just as lots of people write music and books. What happened with JK Rowling and her Harry Potter books, for example, is also amazing! But I don't see her getting the same kind of attention as Mr. Zuckerberg. I am not taking away from the phenomena known as Facebook, but is Mark Zuckerberg an entrepreneurial genius and a great leader - well, it is way too early to tell.

Time Magazine has billed Mark Zuckerberg as their man of the year. I looked at the cover of Time with his face on it, and it looked like they were actually trying to make fun of the new world order, and of Mr. Zuckerberg. It was the most unflattering, pubescent looking photograph I have ever seen. As the world's youngest billionaire (and there will be more and more in years to come, gunning for this title) I could understand a profile in Fortune Magazine, but to feature as Time's man of the year just doesn't click. I mean, don’t you have to have shaved before making it on to the cover of Time? I really do think they are taking the piss to some extent. This is always something I have admired about America - they don't hide their dysfunction - they embrace it, and celebrate it, highlighted by films like American Beauty and The Social Network. They exploit it!

As for the main premise in the movie, that the idea for Facebook was stolen, it is a bunch of nonsense in my experienced view. Ideas are cheap. Execution is what it is all about. As Einstein once said "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Sure, Mark Zuckerberg may have got fired up by someone else's ideas, but as for stealing it, I think this line in the film sums it up "A guy who builds a chair doesn’t owe money to everyone who ever built a chair. They came to me with an idea, I had a better one."

I was recently in Eastern Europe, and there, like in China, as another example, they have their own localized clone of Facebook. The old Soviet countries, where the Russian language is prevalent, have vkontakte.ru - how many users do you thing this thing has? Take a guess. No, you are wrong! When I looked now it had 107 million users and on the site's home page it says "and counting". Now, did they steal the Facebook idea? Absolutely! Are they being sued. No ways. Because, again, ideas are cheap - it is all about execution!

That one stunning scene in film summed this all up, when the Winklevoss twins go and see the president of Harvard, and he says to them "Everyone at Harvard is inventing something or starting a new business in their dorm room. Harvard undergraduates believe that inventing a job is better than getting one so can I suggest again that the two of you come up with a new project."

I found the original screenplay online - I think in the final film they changed the word "project" to "idea". In short, he tells them to go get another idea.

And the part about getting a job sums up the gist of what is damaged in the Western world. Yes, it is all about doing something cool. In my view, no one wants to work anymore. Leadership is not part of the equation - being cool is.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The importance of capitalization

2011-01-05T10:38:00.000+02:00

Now this is proper funny - it had to be shared:

Those of us who fall into the world of hi-tech should take note of the importance of correct grammar.

I have noticed that many who text messages and emails have forgotten the "art" of capitalization.

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

The ticking clock

2011-01-01T14:37:00.002+02:00

Story telling is a wonderful thing. We all love a good story.

All stories have some basic principles, like a beginning, middle and an end. And all stories, well, the compelling ones, have a ticking clock. Because without a race against time there is nothing to invest in. If we had all the time in the world, then the story becomes never ending, and that isn't something we can then follow.

Time is what gives a story its grounding. Time is what the race is against. Time is what we need to beat in order to make it to the summit in our lifetime.

Yes, the clock is ticking, and the direction is clearly on target. 2011 has begun ... bring it on!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Motives

2010-12-30T19:27:00.004+02:00

Screen writing is fascinating! I don’t think I that good at it, but I am learning all the time, and I love the process. I certainly believe I have improved since I started exploring film making 10 years ago.

What makes a film, and its script, memorable, are the characters. Plots are secondary - characters are what it is all about.

There are two fundamental lessons I learned from my film making friends, and these are:

- avoid exposition ALWAYS - ie, anything that is on the nose, remove it

- characters only speak when they want something - ie, characters need to be motivated

Now, looking at the second point, this is a reflection of reality. When do we speak to other people? When we want something.

If life really does imitates art/movies, then we only ever speak to another person/character when we want something, on screen or off. And what a character says is never as important or interesting as to why they said it. What motivates a character (motive) is what makes us invest in a person and follow them. And non-exposition is what makes what they say interesting – it leaves things to the imagination.

Yeah, next year is film making time!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Love thy neighbour

2010-12-24T12:24:00.000+02:00

I read the funniest thing the other day - I had to share it:

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 82! I am sooooo happy, because I live at 73 ... so it's not far to walk home afterwards.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

X factor

2010-12-20T11:09:00.003+02:00

Making a movie is such a risky proposition. Like a blind date!

Think about this: you have to put a whole bunch of actors together, under pressure, for long hours, in unnatural surroundings. This is one long blind date indeed, and that is what a movie shoot is all about. Yes, and you are hoping that there will be chemistry between all these strangers. That is the X factor - that is the unknown - the luck.

Of course, without a good script, you will only have bad luck, but if the script is good, you still need a lot of luck. If the chemistry is good, then luck is on your side.

I am excited about "Material" - please God we have plenty of chemisty for next year's blind date!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Opening weekend

2010-12-15T07:23:00.001+02:00

The arts business is cruel - it is not for the feint hearted. And in the arts domain, movies are the toughest.

Books and CDs, for example, don't have an opening weekend, where the box office numbers are scrutinized with a magnifying glass.

Like a Web site, a book can grow, as the word of mouth spreads, if the right notes are hit. But, a feature film is an all or nothing kind of thing. It is hell on the nerves! Talk about suffering for one's art. When a movie opens you just pace up and down all night long.

I guess life really is about the numbers, no matter which way you look at it.

Next year we are going ahead with the Material movie and I am already pacing up and down, and we have not even made the film yet. A big journey awaits!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Funny Business eBook

2010-12-09T16:51:00.000+02:00

We got some exciting news this week! The Funny Business book is now also available on Amazon.com in eBook format. Yes, you can get it for your Kindle or your iPad.

Check this out : http://www.amazon.com/Ronnie-Aptekers-Funny-Business-ebook/dp/B004FN16HE/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1291875805&sr=8-3

On Amazon.com you can also send the eBook as a gift - you gotta love this new world!

Thank you to everyone who has supported this cool book - we have had so much encouraging feedback. In fact, I heard that the publisher is going to have a second print run soon.

Funny business indeed!

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

In decent

2010-12-07T07:37:00.001+02:00

A friend of mine sent this to me - it was too good not to share :

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner & had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work... They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'So, How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently,' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, 'Is that one word or two?'

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Bed time story

2010-12-04T07:24:00.004+02:00

So, I was in Hyde Park the other day. I met with Nick, our man main from the Coliseum - now that is one soulful dude!

Nick tells me that his wife works in this fancy shop in the mall there that sells duvet covers for 60 grand a pop. Holy cow!?

Nick then says to me that anyone who works hard for their money doesn't spend it on crap like molto expensive bed spreads. The folk who have made money by working hard may by a property offshore, but they don't waste it on crap like expensive luggage etc. This is generally for the nouveau riche and those tenderpreneurers that we keep reading about in the newspaper. Spot on Nick!

People who come in to money quickly, without taking any risks, or busting a sweat, think, in my view, that by spending money on ridiculous priced things that it gives them class, but as my mother and father remind me, class comes from character, and characters comes from hard work - you can't buy it !

It has been a long year, and some much needed rest is just what the doctor ordered. Rest that does not involved million buck bedding. I have heard of stashing money in the mattress, but splashing out money on a mattress, well, that is whole other story.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Sexual adviser

2010-11-28T09:08:00.001+02:00

A friend of mine sent this to me. It is about "the Jewish" board of directors. It was too good not to share:

Schwartz, Cohen and Ginsburg were all close friends since childhood.

They decided they wanted to go into business together.

Schwartz says, "OK! I'll invest $100,000."

Cohen says, "I will go for $200,000".

Ginsburg says, "All right, I'll put in $1,000."

Cohen says, "If I'm putting in $200,000, I'll be the President and CEO of the corporation. You, Schwartz, for your $100,000, you can be Vice President and CFO, and Ginsburg, for your $1,000, you will be our Sexual Adviser."

Puzzled, Ginsburg asks Cohen, "What is a Sexual Adviser?"

Cohen replies, "When we want your f*cking advice, we'll ask for it."

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Chopped liver

2010-11-23T07:46:00.002+02:00

So, I am not 100%. I have some medical problems. But the specialist doctor I am seeing assures me that it is nothing fatal. But still, it is serious, and I need to spend time on my health (we all do for that matter). We take better care of our cars than we do of our bodies.

I have been to so many doctors in the past 18 months and it is starting to drive me a bit crazy. But, I need to listen, and they are the best in the land.

I am currently busy with a very nice doctor, a hematologist, who is trying to figure out what is going on with my iron levels and my liver.

I go and see this new doctor a few months ago, and when I get there, I am told that the doctor is running late, and I tell them I have to be at the airport in a few hours to fly to London, so, by some small stroke of luck, they manage to "squeeze" me in. Phew!

But then, a month or so goes by, and I need to go back to the doctor. And this is where this short story begins. I am told the doctor is running late, because of an emergency she had to attend at the hospital earlier that morning, and that all the appointments are now running late. But it is 4 pm, and I have a 6 pm meeting which I could not miss, and the traffic after 5 pm is going to be intense. So, I ask the lady behind the counter how long she thinks it will be. She tells me, with a very uninterested vibe, that she can't say. I ask her to take a guess. And she looks at me and says "Could be an hour, could be more." Now I have a dilemma. Do I wait and cancel my 6 pm meeting, or, do I leave and make another appointment? My health is in need of attention, and I had to wait for weeks to get this appointment - this is not cool. So, I ask this lady again why she didn't call me to tell me that the doctor was running an hour or so late, and she looks at me and goes "I am too busy to call everyone." I was not impressed, to say the least!

What am I? Chopped liver?!

I ask her, "Oh, so I am not busy. Only you are busy." She is not happy with my defiance and says to me "What is the matter?" I tell her that this is going to hurt me a lot if I miss my meeting later. And she goes "The doctor had an emergency this morning. Please understand." I tell her that if I don't make my meeting later I am also going to have emergency on my hands. But she is not interested. I tell her that it is not fair, and she says to me with some kind of smirk "No one else seems to have a problem waiting." Well, perhaps they are all unemployed or something. I tell her this, and she goes on and on about the emergency again and says to me "If it was you in the hospital and you needed the doctor for an emergency then what?!" Now, hang on, I am as sympathetic as the next person, and an emergency is an emergency, but why couldn't this arrogant gate keeper simply phone me and tell me that there is a delay. You know, a bit of professional courtesy, just in case I happen to have a job, or something. Are the only people seeing doctors unemployed, with nothing better to do? What a crock of shit!

I remember the wisdom I have learnt from business. About the genius of the AND verses the tyranny of the OR. Yes, the doctor can look after emergencies and they could let me know. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

So, I finally saw the doctor, and I asked for a doctor's note, so that I could explain why I was late at my meeting later. The doctor laughed and said that they should have called me. Ah, some justice prevails.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Huge police bust in Hillbrow

2010-11-18T06:58:00.002+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it made me laugh, and it also made me nervous.

Gauteng Police just announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi automatic rifles with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 2 tonnes of heroin, R80 million in forged South African banknotes and 25 trafficked Nigerian prostitutes all in a block of flats behind the Hillbrow Public Library.

Local residents were stunned.

A community spokesman said: "We're shocked. We never knew we had a library!"

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Short message service - please take note

2010-11-14T10:12:00.004+02:00

Yes, the progress paradox continues to haunt each and every one of us. The cellphone is the master, and we are all a bunch of dumb Venter trailers.

You know, it is called the short message service for a reason. So, what is with these 30 line SMS's that people send out ... WTF !?

Do I now have to sit and reply to this long short message. Guys, come on!!! And actually, worse than the long SMS is the short one that goes, "Long time no speak - what's happening on your side?" Or, the one that goes, "How are you doing these days?" Which, if to be taken seriously, requires a long reply. Has the world completely lost the plot ?!

It is like those sincere emails, that you get on the BCC - seriously, come on!! You knows those ones, that go from Joe, To Joe, with some heart-felt message how a few close friends are getting together blah , blah , blah ... if they are such close friends then why not a personal invite ?

Yeah, the short message service ... if it is meant to be so short, then surely we can actually do without it!

A short VLOG with a very short message.

Posted by Ronnie Apteker

Obscure Engineering Conversion Factors

2010-11-08T10:22:00.000+02:00

A friend sent this to me - it was too good not to share.

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year

8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon

10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower

12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line

13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycle

16. 365 bicycles = 1 unicycle

17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

18. 10 cards = 1 decacard

19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard

20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

21. 1000 ccs of wet socks = 1 literhosen

22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

24. 10 rations = 1 decaration

25. 100 rations = 1 C-Ration

26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

28. 5 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = One I.V. League

Posted by Ronnie Apteker